I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
