I met the friendliest cop last night
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize