i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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