I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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