I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
