ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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