Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
