does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
