Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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