is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
