I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize