pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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