well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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