I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
