I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
