how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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