Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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