Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
