And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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