Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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