Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
