When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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