this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize