So drunk its hurt
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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