You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
