i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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