Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
