dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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