Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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