yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
