Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
