So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
