he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
