What a fucking waste of an outfit
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
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