Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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