I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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