oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
