ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
