im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
