I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Who died my cat blue again?
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
