I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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