Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
