Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
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