So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
His nipple licking is glorious
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