Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
