I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
The chlamydia really affected his face.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
