Sorry, I don't speak sober.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
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