A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
