everyone is single if you try hard enough
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
