His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
i think i just lost a toe
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
