.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
