I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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