my sisters under your porch take her home
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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