He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
