everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
