Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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