the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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