I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Watching her eat just hurts me
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
