dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
When did angry sex become our thing?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
