If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
organizing the empties. That sober.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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